My Experience with Bufo in Puerto Morelos, Mexico

So I recently (2 days ago), smoked the Bufo Medicine in the Jungle of Puerto Morelos. It went from thought to action within just a few weeks.

When I moved here with my family about 4 months ago, I knew I would find myself amongst similar people, and that the Bufo Medicine and similar Medicines would be offered to me. I knew because I could feel myself being pulled towards spiritual evolution. Smoking the toad, would show me me my shadows with love.

I did my research and watched several YouTube videos of others in this ceremony, and came to the conclusion that I would have an amazing experience filled with love and light, and perhaps a few shadows. Well, I was right, but it still wasn’t an experience that could have predicted.

On the day

I woke up with a sore tummy and a headache from the anticipation that I had been feeling for days. I was excited, but also scared. I knew I had to see the fear and allow it space, but I had to do this without attaching to it. That was the hard part.

I did some yoga and meditated on my intentions with Bufo. I asked for a peak beyond the veil, and to show me love while pointing me in the right direction. I couldn’t eat really, and just definitely wanted to get on my way and get it done. My ceremony was scheduled for 10:30am.

A lovely friend of my drove me there and stayed throughout the ceremony. That was a huge blessing to have her there after! Once we arrived I saw the set up and slightly freaked out. Was I really going to do this?? Am I crazy??

The ceremony

I started crying and telling the Shaman that I wasn’t ready for such intense energies, it was only 10! They sat me down in a beautiful sacred space and calmed my nerves. It was calming and turned out to be a beautiful conversation about life. But I didn’t want to wait any longer. I just wanted to put that pipe in my mouth and get going already!

We got into position, sitting down with my legs stretched out. A pillow behind me and the jungle all around me. It was a perfect place for such an experience! Just thinking about this now brings shivers to my body. I can still feel the medicine when I close my eyes and remember.

They told me to inhale for as long as I could, hold, and then go back for more. I inhaled, held, and saw the pipe being handed to me again, but I wasn’t able to move.

As the medicine took hold of my body, I felt paralyzed. Voices and sounds became echos in a large dark abyss. I could just barely feel my own body. They encouraged me to have more, so that I could get the full effects, but I was going, going, gone.

I sat there for a few minutes, wondering where exactly I was. Was I still in my body, no, because I could feel it. Was my ego still intact, yes because I can think about it. Well, when was I going to leave my body? An ego death is the usual outcome of such medicine, but since I had set an intention to have a gentle ride, I would not end up with the full on out of body experience. Although, it was close. I will go more into depth about my thoughts on this afterwards, but let’s carry on with the experience.

After a few moments, or more, it was really hard to know time at this point, I slowly layed down. I’m not sure if I was helped down, or if I was able to manage it alone. Once I was grounded, it really started to kick in. I could hear really intense drumming from the Shaman, and it was nothing short of brilliant. I still have the song playing in my head all day. It allowed me to feel the love and support from the physical realm.

But this is also the point where I started to regret my decision. “Oh no, what have I got myself into,” I can remember feeling. But what part of me was feeling? I couldn’t identify who was saying this. I saw complete darkness, and it felt like a void. I was scared, and held back. This only caused more panic.

BUT, I remember my Shaman and guides telling me to love the dark, and love the light. Let go. Just let go of control and trust in the energies. It was so freaking hard. I managed to let go for a few moments. At that point I don’t remember feeling anything.

I must have started to lose it again, because I remember feeling like, okay, this is enough for me. I need to feel my body again. Then, I slowly became aware of those around me, and felt my body once again. Ahh, I am safe. I am here. I am laughing out loud.

Yes, I started laughing because I realized that the medicine gave me exactly what I had asked it for!! I was told before the ceremony that the Medicine is a very intelligent technology, and it knows what you need. I didn’t need that second puff, I needed to see that there is in fact other dimensions, and something other than this dense reality we call home.

I opened my eyes and saw the lush jungle around me. I felt the love of those around me, as well the love of the universe! I laughed, I cried, and then cried some more. I found myself taking deep inhales and exhales, as to process the large amount of energy that I had coursing through my body. I rolled around on the earth, hugged the trees, and walked barefoot. I felt connected to all!

My guides and Shaman sat with me and helped me process. The first thing I had said, after I had just returned back to body was, “I couldn’t let go”. So we talked about that and other experiences related.

My interpretation

Okay, so like I had said, I asked the Medicine to be gentle on me, because I was scared. I also asked to see beyond the veil, and to show me my shadows. side note: I did my Tarot cards that morning, and they showed me that I needed courage. Not just the courage to show up and particiapate, but courage while in the medicine. I was faced with fear, and it showed me that there is so much love for me in this world and in other dimensions, that I didn’t need to be afraid. In in my life, I should show up with courage, and love the fear, love the unknown. Embrace it.

Seeing beyond the veil wasn’t like I had expected it to be. It was like I was in total darkness and I was on one side of the veil, but I could feel the other side was so close by. I wanted it really bad, but I felt huge resistance. From myself, of course. But I could feel the medicine saying that I was not ready. At the same time, it was very obviously showing me my shadows.

While in the medicine, I could feel that my body was feeling uncomfortable at times. I said, ‘I’m too hot,” and “I can’t breathe,” but as some part of me shouted this out, I realized that I could in fact breathe, and that being hot was not as uncomfortable as I was making it out to be. I was also feeling strong emotions of “why did I do this,” all because it took me out of my comfort zone. I don’t like to be taken outside of my comfort zone. I wasn’t ready to give up aspects of myself, and this led to a strong desire to not leave body.

This smart, and loving Medicine has reminded me that, yes there is waaayyyy more to life that what meets the eyes, and that Medicine like Bufo, is a tool to illuminate that dark with love. Because we are after all, a mix of light and dark.

Moving forward

Over these past few days, I have felt elated with love and gratitude. I am in awe of how life is so precious, and loving, and exciting, and.. just perfecto! I couldn’t be more happy with my experience! My guides and Shaman, were exactly what I needed them to be, and I felt soo much love from them. I will never forget this experience.

Final thoughts

While I was given exactly what I needed, I was shown that I hold all the power to let go, embrace, feel love, and grow. I am growing, and expanding as I sit here and write this blog. I have also been crying with love and gratitude since the event.

Guys, if you are thinking about trying Bufo, do it! You will NOT regret this opportunity for expansion in your life. I promise.